Alright, here's my poem. Sorry I couldn't load up my picture, but I don't have a scanner and it's 5 till 2 at school... Well, here goes nothin...
Down by the road it sat with patience,
Waiting for the moment to pounce,
My Grandpa calls my name,
And I respond like an obediant puppy,
The doors open and I enter,
Intentionarlly the interior is like an ice cube,
The leather is worn of its country smell,
I see the black in front of me and I feel my heart race,
A roaring, deep and might, fills my ears,
As loud as a lion, but as soft as a kitty my Grandpa told me,
I feel the vibrations, soft and low, beneath me,
The ice interior sparkles, the silver pain glistens,
Grandpa's done a lot of hard work on the Porsche,
And now it runs absolutely beautiful,
Like a puppy's patience practically passing on,
Onward to the afterlife,
I sit back and smell the crisp air as we gain speed,
Knowing that I could soon drive this car, the Porsche,
Since when he stopped driving it,
It would be mine.
Alright, be totally honest. Tell me how I can improve or how bad I sucked at it. I only conferenced with two people, but it would be nice to get ideas from the whole class. Ya know? Please comment back!
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3 comments:
Ok, I've resorted to talking to myself.
I hate your poem. It had its good lines, but it really didn't help you describe the car. Lions and puppies yes.
I love your poem. and your profile pic.
i love my grandparents too.
and you should name of it. think of something nifty that matches it in some way.
Yay! Some one to talk to! I was afraid I'd have to keep talking to myself, but then I'd turn into a serial killer and begin to molest little kids and show up on that list and then Mrs. James's next generation of students would be looking me up! XD
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